Self-Compassion

“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” - Christopher Germer

The seeds of self-hatred are planted early in life. In our drive to be accepted by the one's we love, we often develop negative feelings about ourselves. This self-hatred is reinforced by social institutions, especially religious, who insist that we are fallen and are in need of salvation.

It can be hard to overcome those negative feelings about the self. Sometimes one can find help in sources that one least expects.

Next to social media, YouTube is one of the favorite subjects for people to beat up on. You would think that YouTube is nothing but cat videos. While there certainly are those, there’s a lot of good stuff as well. One of the excellent YouTube channels is The School of Life.

The School of Life channel defines its mission as “devoted to bringing you calm, self-understanding, better relationships, deeper friendships, greater effectiveness at work and more fulfillment in your leisure time.”

They have several excellent videos about self-compassion. I’ve linked to two that I’m very impressed with.

Akitu

March 20, 2023, marks the Spring Equinox called Ostara in the Wiccan Wheel of the Year. The festival Ostara, named after the goddess Eostre, is very popular in Neopaganism, as evidenced by all the bloggers and website owners writing about it.

This blog post isn’t about Ostara.

I’ve posted before that my Patron Deity is the Sumerian goddess Inanna, known to the Babylonians as Ishtar. Akitu was one of the highest festivals in Babylon and marked the beginning of the New Year. While the Babylonians celebrated it in the Spring, the festival occurred during the Autumn Equinox in Sumer. 

The Babylonian Akitu festival was a twelve-day event that began on the first New Moon following the Spring Equinox. The first four days consisted of reciting the Babylonian Creation myth and manufacturing two statues to represent the demons of Tiamet, who were defeated by Marduk. One statue would have a viper in its left hand, while the other would have a scorpion. The rest of Akitu would consist of parading the statues along with their decapitation, the king proving his humility, and concluding with the sacred marriage of the king to the goddess Ishtar 

Scholars theorize that the Akitu festival served several purposes within Babylonian society. One was for the king to reassert his position of power. The other was to ensure a prosperous New Year for the people.   

While I don’t follow the letter of Akitu, I strive to celebrate its spirit. My personal celebration includes rituals to remind me of my sovereignty. I also include rituals to aid in the prosperity and good fortune of myself, my friends, and my family.       

Vive La Différence

“Strength lies in differences, not in similarities.” – Stephen Covey

The three pounds of mostly fat we call our brain evolved to interact with our physical reality. We are bodies embedded in a material world. A consequence of our physicality is a solid division between us and the outside world. My fingers typing these words are distinct and apart from the keyboard. 

However, the gods are different in that they’re spirits. Spirits are, by definition, non-corporeal beings. Because of their non-corporeal nature, they are like nothing that exists in our world. This difference makes it difficult for us to truly understand the nature of the gods.

While I consider myself a Hard Polytheist since I believe that the gods are individuals, each with their own agency, I understand that they aren’t exactly like us. As mentioned, gods are non-corporeal beings. This characteristic makes them different than any phenomenon we’ve ever seen. It also makes them difficult to understand.

Our individuality and autonomy are intimately tied to our physicality. Oh, there are changes to our bodies that come with age. Plus, we can modify our bodies with surgery and other procedures. But we’re unable to divide our bodies or merge with others. Our bodies are locked into place.

Hard Polytheists must remember that the gods are not the same as us. However, the Archetypists and Soft Polytheists need to understand that those of us who have had contact with the gods will testify that there are attributes that we share with the gods. 

Let’s avoid hubris, where we think we completely understand the nature of the gods. The gods are much more complex and mysterious than we can begin to imagine.

Big-Headed

 “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” – Elvis Presley

Note: I’m highly indebted to the excellent YouTube channel The Living Philosophy, which was a resource for this post.

One of the popular whipping boys of contemporary spirituality is the ego. According to some, the ego is the source of all evil. If we could just eliminate the ego, they say, all would be right with the world.

They’re wrong.

The problem isn’t the ego but a phenomenon called ‘ego inflation.’

The term ‘ego’ was introduced to the modern world through the work of Sigmund Freud. Freud used the German phrase ‘Das Ich,’ meaning ‘The I.’ When his work was translated into English, ‘The I’ was considered clumsy. So the translator chose ‘ego,’ the Latin word for ‘I.’

According to Freud, the ego is the Self and mediates between the individual and the world. The ego is the seat of judgment, tolerance, memory, and intellect. One major job of the ego is to balance the demands of the individual’s Id and the Superego. The ego allows us to restrain the Id through practices such as delayed gratification and judgment. It also separates the Superego’s toxic influences from the healthy. A healthy ego is, so to speak, the grown-up in the room.

Like anything, the ego can get out of wack. One way is for the ego to become inflated. When someone has an inflated ego, we sometimes say, “That person is ‘big-headed.’” 

Individuals with ego inflation are easy to spot. We see a particular CEO of an electric car company who acquired a social media service not long ago, with obvious ego inflation. Also, a certain former U.S. President who refuses to acknowledge that he lost his bid for reelection definitely has ego inflation. 

Where does this confusion of ego with ego inflation come from? It’s essentially the product of Westerners who misunderstand Freud and Jung as well as misappropriate certain Buddhist concepts. The result of this toxic combination is a misplaced attack on the ego.

Let’s stop beating up the ego because the ego is a necessary and essential part of a healthy personality. Instead, let’s focus our criticism on ego inflation. There’s no need for anyone to get big-headed.

Beyond Nihilism

“Do not go gentle into that good night.” - Dylan Thomas, poet

I’ve written before that Albert Camus is my favorite philosopher. Of course, we differ on some things; for example, he was a strong atheist, while I’m a hard polytheist. Otherwise, I agree with the vast majority of his views.

Albert Camus

 

A central element of his philosophy was how we should respond to what he perceived to be the lack of meaning in the universe. Camus didn’t see a universe infused with meaning as others, such as most Greek philosophers and Christian theologians, saw. He perceived no fingerprint of God upon the world. Camus found the Cosmic silence deafening.

Camus decided that the silent universe, paradoxically, gave us a message. The universe, including us, lack inherent meaning.

He wasn’t the first to come to this conclusion. Existentialist writers like Sartre had similar results when they looked at the Cosmos. On this point, they agreed.

However, Camus differed in several important details from the existentialists. One difference was that Sartre believed one could give one’s life meaning. Camus said that this was futile. One could not grant oneself meaning in a meaningless universe.

Camus then asked what choice do we have if our lives are meaningless? He said we have three choices: self-destruction, blind faith, or revolt. Neither self-destruction nor blind faith is an acceptable choice, according to Camus, for they both involve surrender.

Our only choice is to revolt. 

Our revolution begins by embracing the uncomfortable truth that our lives lack meaning and that it’s impossible to grant them such. To seek meaning in a meaningless universe is absurd (hence, the name of his philosophy is Absurdism). 

We must then accept that this lack of meaning isn’t a negative but is liberating. This lack of meaning gives us the freedom to live our lives as we see fit. Doing so can make our lives meaningful to us, even though our lives lack meaning. 

Nihilism is not the end goal. Instead, nihilism is the key to opening the door to freedom. In his book The Myth of Sisyphus, Camus wrote, “even within the limits of nihilism, it is possible to proceed beyond nihilism.” 

Don’t get trapped in nihilism. Move beyond nihilism and embrace life.

Flaming Trousers

We all know the childhood taunt, “Liar, liar, pants on fire.” We definitely don’t like people who lie. Just look at the public outcry to a recently elected US Congressional Representative caught lying about his past. 

Is it ever okay to lie? Or is honesty always, with no exceptions, the best policy? Mountains of books have been written about this over the centuries. I cannot sufficiently cover all of the arguments in a blog post. But I’m going to write about it anyway.

Let me get one consideration out the way up front. The Cosmos, Universe, God, or whatever, doesn’t give a damn about us and what we do. We’re on our own for this.

I like thought experiments rather than just theories regarding ethical dilemmas. When discussing ethical absolutes, the setting should be one of the most evil institutions in history. Slavery certainly fits the bill. In this case, slavery in the United States.

Scenario: It’s 1857, and you’re a white abolitionist. In the back of your covered wagon, you’re hiding a family of runaway slaves that you’re helping get to freedom. As you approach the border to cross from the Slave State of Virginia to the Free State of Pennsylvania, you see a roadblock with armed men in your path. One armed man approaches and tells you they’re looking for some runaway slaves. They ask you if you’ve seen any and if you might know where they are? 

Question: Do you lie and tell them that you haven’t seen any? Or do you admit that you have and that they’re in the back of your wagon? 

My Response: I would lie in this thought experiment with no regrets whatsoever about doing so. In fact, I believe lying is the ethical choice in this scenario, while telling the truth is unethical. This is because the welfare of people is the highest ethics. Life overrides other considerations, especially abstract musings by philosophers sitting around their metaphorical ivory towers. 

Does this mean I think it’s always okay to lie? Of course not. Absolutes to the other extreme are such as wrong. In relationships, generally, honesty is the best policy. However, not always. Especially when it causes more harm than good. 

So, dear surfers of the interwebs, what do you think? Do you think honesty is absolute, or is it situational? Let me know your thoughts. You can leave a comment below. I’m on Facebook and Twitter. You can also email me at fratert@ftenebris.com.

Lupercalia

“The wolves in the woods have sharp teeth and long claws, but it’s the wolf inside who will tear you apart.” ― Jennifer Donnelly, Stepsister (novel)

It’s February, and most people’s thoughts turn to Valentine’s Day. Many contemporary Pagans add Imbolc into the mix. However, I find another festival day during February most meaningful. An ancient Roman festival called Lupercalia.

Lupercalia has gotten a lot of attention in the last few years. Pagans who love to poke Christians on social media enjoy pointing out the similarities between Lupercalia and Valentine’s Day. And television series such as The Chilling Tales of Sabrina help bring it to the public eye.

The Ancient Festival of Lupercalia

For those that don’t know, Lupercalia was an ancient pagan festival held each year in Rome on February 15 that dates as far back as the 6th Century B.C.E. and maybe further. Wikipedia accurately describes Lupercalia as “a bloody, violent, and sexually charged celebration awash with animal sacrifice, random matchmaking, and coupling in the hopes of warding off evil spirits and infertility.”

The origins of Lupercalia have been lost to time. Most scholars think it relates to the legendary founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus, who, according to myth, were raised by a she-wolf. The festival’s name may be derived from the Roman fertility god Lupercus.

The festival would start with priests sacrificing a male goat and a dog at Lupercal cave while laughing and smearing the blood on their foreheads, followed by public feasting. After the feast, nude men would race around whipping any woman they could with strips made from the skin of the sacrificed goats.

Part of the festival included the pairing of single men and women by the men pulling women’s names from a jar. The couples would stay together all year until the next festival. It was common for couples to fall in love and marry during this time.

A Modern Lupercalia 

An attribute the wolf shares with us is the trait of being an apex predator. However, the wolf is a natural predator, while humans require tools to achieve their position of power. Therefore, one of the meanings of the archetypal wolf is of the primal, uncivilized human. We see our animal side found deep within us in the archetypal wolf. 

Lupercalia isn’t about the sacrifice of animals. Or naked individuals whipping others with goat skins (which is okay if you’re into that and it’s consensual among all participants). The eternal spirit of Lupercalia is a recognition of the goodness of the physical body and the enjoyment of our carnal desires. 

The modern Lupercalia is a time to release your inner wolf and howl at the moon.