Self-Hatred

“Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

Self-acceptance is integral to Dark Paganism. However, we must come to grips with a hard truth before addressing self-acceptance. Far too many of us suffer from self-hatred.
 

Two disclaimers are needed:

First, this blog is an exploration of philosophy and is not medical advice. Sometimes philosophy is not enough. If you or someone you know need assistance, the National Institute of Mental Health has a great website with contacts on how to receive help.

Second, the following is not meant to be all-encompassing. Why we sometimes experience self-hatred is a complex issue. This blog post only touches on the surface.
 

Some of us hate ourselves for the mistakes we make in life. The reality is that we’re not always nice to everyone, and we do sometimes hurt others, either intentionally or by accident. Such actions can drive us to self-hatred.
 

For some, self-hatred is forced upon us. Whole religions are built around it. Guilt and self-loathing are driven into us, especially those raised in such faiths from childhood. No matter how much we try to do right, we will invariably sin, they say, and therefore we’re wretched and deserve to die. “The wages of sin is death….”

In reality, self-hatred is rarely deserved. Admittedly, there are those whose actions are so severe that self-hatred is appropriate. The mass murderer in Buffalo is an example of someone. But extreme examples like that are the exception and not the rule.
 

Self-acceptance is about accepting oneself, flaws and all. It’s accepting the fact that we all make mistakes. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t at times feel guilt when we hurt others. However, to take this guilt and turn it into self-hate is to take it to unrealistic and unhealthy extremes. What’s needed is to take steps to make things right if possible, accept responsibility for our actions, and then move on.
 

While guilt over our mistakes is sometimes proper, feeling guilty and experiencing self-hatred because of some religious doctrine is never okay. Whether it’s Original Sin, karma, Three-Fold Law, or some other doctrine, we must not allow ourselves be filled with false guilt.     
 

I want to end this post with a link to an excellent video. Einzelgänger is a great YouTube channel that I highly recommend. His video, Overcoming Self-Hatred, is very good.
 

Blessed Be,
Frater Tenebris