Sorrow

“We should feel sorrow, but not sink under its oppression.” – Confucius

The American statesman, Founding Father, and all-around genius Benjamin Franklin once wrote that death and taxes are the only guaranteed things in this world. Recently, I was reminded of the truth of his statement. 

Yesterday, I attended the funeral of one of my aunts. 

There are always those at the funeral who say they don’t grieve when someone dies. Their reasons vary. Some express a religious reason that the person is “in a better place” (i.e., generally a euphemism for heaven). Another common statement is that they’re glad the person is no longer in pain. The one reason that always irritates me is when they wax poetic about how death is just part of the natural cycle of life.

I always try to bite my tongue when I hear this last statement at a funeral because I believe it’s not the time and place to express my opinion. I want to say, “Who the f*** cares if it’s part of the natural cycle? I miss her, and it hurts that she’s gone.”

The main problem that I see with their pseudo-Stoic nonsense is that it denies our humanity. Yes, I know that death is part of the natural cycle of life. Memento Mori and all that. But it doesn’t change the fact that it’s normal to grieve the death of someone we love. 

Sorrow has its place because it’s also part of the natural cycle of life.